Postpartum Stories
Wisdom Passed
from One Woman to Another
Index
Story 1 - A Story of Two Births
Story 2 - Community Help, Networking and Learning from
Old Traditions
Story 3 - Having Lots of Support and Resources
Story 4 - Planning for Post Partum Support
Story
5 – Surprises After Labour and Birth
Story 1 - A Story of Two Births
I have had two
children. The first child was born almost 10 years ago and the
second just turned three years old.
The first child was born by c-section. I had both my children born in the
hospital. I would have preferred a home birth but because of personal
circumstances it was not possible.
During the first pregnancy I threw up almost 9 months. The first three
were horrible and the last three months were just as terrible. I felt I
knew nothing and this is how I was treated by the medical professional.
Very clinical.
I joined a Babyville group from the local community health department.
One of the kids from the group is now my daughters best friend. They are
in the same grade in the same school. Same height, weight, colour -- I
find this amazing!. This group provided a wonderful support system.
Recovery from the delivery was aweful. I had the worst case of the
"blues" imaginable. I was afraid to the tell the Doctor. I
thought she would take my infant away from me if she knew what my inner
thoughts were. I didn't share. I suffered in privacy and carried
tremendous guilt and fear. I had a healthy child -- "what's wrong
with you?" That was the response from my mother. I know better
now. I had such guilt that my body failed me because I needed a
c-section. The women beside me in the hospital delivered a still born
child and the grandmother told me while I was walking up and down the
hallway. The grandmother also told my husband. I didn't want to
tell my husband and he didn't want to tell me. Nobody knew why I was so
upset when I was being prepared for a c-section. It was a time that I
felt very lonely.
Recovery from the c-section wasn't that bad at all. The worst part was my
mother who kept cracking jokes in the hospital. It hurt to laugh or
cry! What an experience. Looking back, I find that part very
humorous.
My hormones were so out of whack! I bawled when I looked at myself naked
in the mirror! I looked like a "go-go dancer" with the enormous
boobs that I had grown. They were so hot and heavy.
I didn't know what was normal or what wasn't. I felt so uniformed.
A friend of mine who had 3 kids helped me nurse my first child. If it had
been for her help I am sure I would have quit. We sat outside the front
of her home while she helped latch my baby to my breast. All the family
watched. Dad, kids and her family and my inlaws. I am not
shy. To me it was normal but I am sure to others it may not have
been. I look back and I am most grateful to her for her help and support.
I have let her know several times. I nursed both my children till they
gave it up on their own. They just decided it was enough and that was it.
What a wonderful experience! They are both extremely healthy kids.
No vaccines, no flu, no ear trouble -- nother. I believe nursing
had a lot to do with it.
The second child was born just 3 years ago. Very different
experience. I still wore my regular track suit at 9 months
pregnant. I had a vaginal delivery with no tearing or
complications. It was a long delivery and I was really exhausted
afterwards.
I had learned so much over the years. I felt confident, happy, relaxed
and all was terrific. I took red raspberry (I believe that was it). I
took many assorted supplements. (protein, B's, vitamin C, calcium magnesium,
homeopaths...) No nausea, no vomitting, no food cravings. I loved
every moment. I spent quite a bit of time during pregnancy being active
(as I did with the first). I did yoga, meditation, relaxation, walking,
swimming and anything I found relaxing to myself. I stayed away from any
stressful events and negative people.
I had no real issues with this pregancy. I went back to work a day later in my
home office. That was special for me. Breastfeeding was extremely
easy (not like the first experience!) I must have decided I was wonder
woman or some one like that because I had a bit of set back about a week
later. Just tired. I must have been too much too soon.
I had only wished what I knew now when I had my first child. I was so laid back
this time. So relaxed. The first child I worried about everything.
Is my child STILL breathing. Is she okay. I am sure this all is
very normal.
Now my children are very good friends despite the age difference. They
look after each other. It has been a wonderful experience.
Story 2 - Community Help, Networking and Learning from Old Traditons
I had a vaginal birth - lots of
stitches. Very important to take the
salt water sits-baths - speeds up the
healing and feels so good.
Full recovery took about two months.
The most helpful things were in my freezer -
two weeks worth of dinners that were prepared and delivered by the 'Helping Hands'
ministry at our church.
The best thing I did was join a couple of
different mom's groups when my daughter was 4 months old. It got me up and out of the house by nine,
which is more that I can say for the first four months. Networking with other
new mom's was a great way for both of us to make new friends.
One more thing – at work, my Koren manager's
wife had a baby and their tradition of not allowing mother and child out of the
house for 30 days and no visitors for 49 days sounded like music to my ears. The reason they do this is so that the
mother can bond with the baby.
I think that new mothers feel like they have
to keep up with the Jones'. Not all new mothers have a baby one day and go to
church the next day.
Women as whole need to be kinder to each
other.....and that's all I have to say about that!
Retained placenta hindered my recovery. Called doctor a few times before they would
actually see me. They thought I had
postpartum depression. I had a slight
temperature and could never sleep well.
Anyway, I had a d&c seven weeks after my daughter was born which
revealed the fact that I had retained placenta - I felt 100% better the next
day and knew that I would
never go back to that doctor again.
Most valuable resource is my mother.
I wish I had known of Dr. Lisa Doran and her
fabulous clinic before I had my daughter.
Story 3 - Having Lots of Support and Resources
I had vaginal deliveries for all 3 of my
children:
I liked the tea my naturopath made me for my
sitz baths (squirt bottle thingy), and I
also liked the herbal stuff my Doula gave me
to use after I had my third child.
After
him, I had almost 3rd degree tears, so
whatever her concoction is, it really helped.
My advice to expecting moms would be: have a midwife and a doula, speak up, and if
you have to go into the medical world, be sure to speak your mind, and ask lots
of questions, and make sure all questions are answered--but don't worry about
bedside manner from medical world.
Since I was induced with all 3, I still say
that the homeopathics and the acupuncture my Naturopathic Doctor (Dr.
Lisa) did for me helped me to not end
up with the dreaded c-section--But I've recently heard of hypnosis, and wish I
could have felt that connection with my babes.
Recovery took just a few days...I don't
really remember it being a big thing...except
after Rose, when I was on prednisone, so I
felt like doing too much and bled
alot after I had stopped bleeding (if you know
what I mean).
Being on steroids for PUPPS hindered my
postpartum recovery --but I'm unique!
My Naturopath, my doula, and my midwife were
valuable resources
Story 4 - Planning for Post Partum Support
If
I had to give any advice to new moms I would inform them more about post partum depression and or sad
feelings and the sheer amount of energy it takes to look after a new born.
Recovery took, I would
say, a full 6 months once you can sleep
7-8 hours a night you feel a whole lot better
I think I was pumped
with a lot of fluids and had fluid retention so bad that I couldn't walk up
stairs or even put shoes on my son was born in January
I wish I had a better
support system the public health nurse called once and never tried again
and I didn't learn about the family resource center until my son was
almost one. I guess I would have built up more support before I was to
overwhelmed to.
Story 5 – Surprizes After Labour and Birth
I gave birth 1st time at a birth center in the US. The package deal included a visiting nurse that came and visited a number of times to check on both me and the baby. Between her support and the midwives calling, I felt really supported.
I had no idea that birth would leave my bottom all ripped up. I couldn't sit. Hemmorhoids hurt badly! I tore. I would say that I think both of these problems were because they told me to push REALLY hard, which I now think was just WRONG. I don't think it needed to hurt THAT much later on. Also this led to constipation which in turn made it hard to sit. Also, as much as I thought I'd prepared, nursing was difficult for us and this is worth anticipating and preparing for. More below.
I didn't have any time to take care of my sore bottom. We had severe nursing challenges. As much as it hurt to sit, I had to sit for hours at a time trying to get my baby to latch on or stay latched on. Agony. Not a nice intro at all.
Finally I found a lactation consultant that saved us.
Some things I really wish I had known were:
- the phone number of the lactation consultant. To have had a REALLY close look at how a baby latches. Something about babies mouths - I believe my daughter had an issue that made it impossible for her to latch properly for a few months, hence all the nursing issues we had.
- What a sitz bath was.
- That you can get special ice packs for healing your yoni (perineum) at drug stores like the one they had at the birth center. They told me to use ice at home but it is too cold.
- About any other supplies that can be bought at drug stores.
- That I would bleed for a while after - I had no idea. And to just use some old cloth to catch this.
- About squirt bottles for rinsing off in the toilet after urination.